When you think about getting married, you think about pretty dresses, big parties, and an amazing honeymoon.  What you don't tend to think about is joint bank accounts, debt ratios, and discretionary income.  I mean, who wants to walk down the aisle while they contemplate their long-term budget?  The problem here is that all too soon reality comes crashing down and people realize that they have two totally different spending styles.  Then the fighting begins.

But this isn't the only way!  It is actually very possible for two people to merge their lives without fighting about money.  All it takes is a little forethought.  In this article we are going to look at a few different things that you can do to take the stress out of joining your accounts.  By being proactive about this topic you and your spouse can build a plan that works for you.  One you can both agree upon.  And it's actually a lot easier than it sounds!

Let's take a look:

Have A Cash Budget

One of the hardest things for most couples to get use to is having to account for their spending.  This is especially true if you have been out in the real world for a while and are use to making your own money.  Then you get married and all of a sudden there is this other person that wants to know what you are spending and why. 

This is why you should consider going to a cash budget, at least temporarily.  The way it works is that you and your spouse sit down and lay out your household budget.  Make sure that you include everything that you have to pay out, and the amount that you want to put into savings.  Then decide how much discretionary income you have left over.  Split what's left between the two of you and take it out of your account in cash.  This extra cash becomes the money that you have to spend until the next pay period.  You have to agree to not use credit or debit cards and that each of you will stick to the budget.  Once the money is gone, it's gone. 

What this does is eliminate the urge to spend the other person's check or for them to spend yours.  It is very easy to get caught up in the idea that if you had X amount of $$$ to spend before you got married, then you must have twice that now.  By going cash, each of you has money to spend without having to answer to the other.  Not only that, but you also keep yourselves from overspending.  Over time you will get use to the new set up and be able to move on from the cash system, but it's always a good place to start. 

Make Plans

Then next thing that you need to do is sit down together and decide what your goals are.  Do you want a new house?  Do you want to take a trip?  How about new furniture?  What ever it is, you have to know what you are planning to do so that you can save accordingly.  The key is to make these plans together so that you are both on the same page.  Where you run into trouble is if she wants a new car and he goes out and buys a boat.  Not a good situation!

Set Up Different Accounts

I am a big fan of having different accounts for different purposes.  Ever heard the saying, "don't keep all your eggs in one basket?"  Same idea.  If you are saving up for something big, then set up a separate account for that fund.  Then you are not tempted to touch it later. 

Another good idea is for each spouse to have his or her own savings account.  Each month or week a pre-decided amount of money is deposited.  Then that money is theirs to do with as they please.  This is a good alternative to the cash budget.  The idea is to have money that you can spend however you want without having to discuss it with your spouse and without taking it out of the family money.

Talk

But the biggest thing that you can do is talk to each other.  If you are having a problem with something, don't keep it all bottled up inside or it will just build up until you explode.  Sit down and put all your cards on the table, and then be willing to compromise.  Remember, you are now in this together, and together you have to decide what is best for your family.